reciprocal arrangement

Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. 

You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. 

Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. 

You’ll learn from them—if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. 

And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.

- J. D. Salinger

Scared

Today I felt lost
I couldn't find your hand or any hand
I felt so Alone
I just don't Understand.

I am scared
today I am afraid
For Tomorrow's troubles may bring
More Pain than Today
I may not last; I'll continue to Pray.

I am scared
why do I worry about Tomorrow?
Today brings enough fear;
For Today was the Tomorrow,
That seemed all to near.

I am scared
I'll never forget about the Past,
My Pain will never let me.
Tomorrow is how long it will last.

I am scared.
I am scared of myself.
Of my mind.
Of who can see the mind I have.
I am scared.

I am scared.
I am scared to hear.
Sacred to think.
Scared to be.

I am scared of me.


I am scared of who is in my head.
I am scared.
I'm tired of being scared.
Scared to love.
Scared to live.
Scared to exist.

I am scared
I don't want to look back years from now
and regret the years I spent in fear.
And I don't want to regret the years
I spent being afraid of you.

I am 
scared and disappointed

I am scared
for what’s to come
to me
and other people
I am disappointed at people for causing
me to feel this way

I am scared

I am scared of me.

Don’t

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason and I just stare at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone. I just bury myself in my bed and think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you and I will cry myself to sleep if you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep and I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much. I will depend on you. I need attention, much more than other people. I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one. I’ll write poems about you and opening up my skin at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists. I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you, every bit of love, until I have nothing to give. Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head when I hate myself so much that I want to die. Your words will be the only thing that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear. You won’t be able to leave me, because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay. You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you.

- by (yet) unknown writer

The seasons of life

The seasons of life

There was a man who had four sons . he wanted his sons to learn to not judge too quickly . so he sent them each on a quest , in turn to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away .

The first son went in the winter , the second in spring , the third in summer and the youngest son in the fall

When they had all gone and comeback , he called them together to describe what they had seen

 The first son said , that the tree was ugly bent and twisted .

The second son said , no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed , he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked beautiful , it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen .

The last son disagreed with all of them , he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment .

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right , because they had each seen but one season in the tree’s life.

He told them that you can’t judge a tree , or a person , by only one season and that the essence of who they are and pleasure , joy , and love that come from the life . can only be measured at the end when all seasons are up

If you give up when it’s winter,  you will miss the promise of your spring , the beauty of your summer , fulfilment of your fall .

DON’T JUDGE A LIFE BY ONE DIFFICULT SEASON .

DON’T LET THE PAIN OF SEASON DESTROY THE JOU OF REST